...so i touched it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
