That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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