Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
