Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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