Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
