If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s