You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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