Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom

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  (313): i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom http://tfl.nu/6o5z
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (880)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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  (816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7
  Replies (53) Good night (723) Bad night (3509)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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  (814): I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party. http://tfl.nu/nrd6
  Replies (16) Good night (3048) Bad night (514)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So I fucked that hot french guy last night

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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  (662): So I fucked that hot french guy last night (228): You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up. http://tfl.nu/pgt2
  Replies (18) Good night (983) Bad night (4510)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.

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  (617): i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no. http://tfl.nu/n7ti
  Replies (6) Good night (5274) Bad night (933)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1186) Bad night (5613)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

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  (765): we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/328h
  Replies (17) Good night (7246) Bad night (1030)
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  (559): View more from California

  Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.

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  (559): Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor. http://tfl.nu/6xcl
  Replies (9) Good night (2099) Bad night (606)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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  (609): I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch http://tfl.nu/jghc
  Replies (7) Good night (2448) Bad night (659)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Run away.

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  (403): She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian. (403): Run away. http://tfl.nu/pkbx
  Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (1915)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"

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  (412): It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion" http://tfl.nu/m0wm
  Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (1707)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.

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  (419): I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck. http://tfl.nu/c5ir
  Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (787)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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  (405): Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on http://tfl.nu/n0jv
  Replies (4) Good night (176) Bad night (379)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago

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  (443): If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago http://tfl.nu/tavn
  Replies (4) Good night (317) Bad night (269)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.

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  (650): I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words. http://tfl.nu/h8c9
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (176)

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