As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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