I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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