halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
