Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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