Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
