you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize