i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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