im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
