im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
