I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
