I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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