I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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