her vagine was all disorganized.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
