i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
