Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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