she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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