Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
