HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
