Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wat bout pragnant strippers??
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
