Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
