I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
