and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
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will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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We have so much sex to catch up on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am naked and annoyed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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