I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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