I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
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