So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
