His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
