we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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