i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize