we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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