i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
