I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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