barbara walters just said penis...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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