just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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