do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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