Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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