Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
