you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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