I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
