What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
