it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
