can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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