Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think my tv is drunk
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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