This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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