How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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