i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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