Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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