it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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