After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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