Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
