chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
