If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize