Do you still have your period?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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